On the matter of being feminist, I resonate with Oprah’s quote: ‘I never consider or call myself a feminist, but I don’t think you can really be a woman in this world and not be’. From my point of view, specific gender categorisation has become more of a blur with indecipherable shades of grey over the passage of time. This belief has meant that my sexuality (could I be lesbian perhaps?), religion (should I not be submissive to a husband and dare I be unashamed at being divorced?) and cultural upbringing (is a single-income earning household normal considering my roots?) have been called into question more regularly than I care to recall. Still, I am convinced there is a much wider problem.
I swapped my red glitter lipstick for old track bottoms the other day and took a trip to B & Q – the hardware store in search of tiles for the bathroom upstairs and I got up, close and personal with series of tool boxes. Admittedly the tips I hadn’t picked up from the Internet were learnt by asking questions. Again, admittedly, I asked my male friends. As I washed the dirt out of, and untangled my unruly Afro later that night, I thought that I would certainly be blogging about heritage and cultural expression + the evolution of feminism over time, until my eleven year old daughter walked in and told me she knew a better shampoo brand for non-caucasian hair because she had read it up on the Internet, whilst searching for new school shoes. So I changed my mind and was going to write instead about how children are attaining independence at an even absurdly earlier age. That is until she also reminded me that if we ordered the shoes early enough on Amazon prime, they could actually arrive the same day. I didn’t know that.
I think I know what the problem is. Change. The world is changing at a ridiculous pace and people have problems accepting anything that is outside the box of set societal principles. So when it comes to feminism, for example, I am not convinced that the problem is mass fear of women overthrowing men per se, I think it’s the discombobulation attached to the power of the modern empowered woman. Bar sperm creation and perhaps physical strength (which is debatable these days), she can do almost anything within the remit of her male counterpart’s ability by virtue of the fact that she is armed with knowledge. A lot of this has a to do with the evolution of the world – technological advancement, and sheer determination / personal circumstances.
And yet, even though the world accepts that ‘thou’ and ‘thy’ are no longer acceptable as examples of modern day pronoun definitions, and that dinosaurs are extinct, society will still not make allowances for individual growth. The result is war, discrimination and general unwarranted hatred. For this reason, those who have made an educated decision to follow a religious, cultural or otherwise individual path are too scared to be the minority martyrs and die instead of implosion if they don’t explode out of sheer frustration and end up on the horror movie that has become our CNN for unspeakable crimes.
My journey of self (re)discovery gives me a chance to render my personal views for open criticism without batting an eyelid when someone has a conflicting opinion or way of life. It’s all part of the evolution. On that basis, here are a few of my unshakable truths:
– I believe in gender equality. I am feminist.
– I am black African originally and my hair is a mass of tight curls which can be untameable, but allow for a stand-alone expression of rich history. I also love straight hair.
– I am divorced, and feel unbroken and complete.
– I am Christian.
– I am a single mother of curious children.
– I have friends of varying backgrounds and this will be the case until the end of time. Everybody regardless of age, background or belief is my teacher with the potential to star in my life story. For this reason, my ears shall remain wide open.
The points above are the reasons why you can find my blogs on most social media outlets on a daily basis. Because we are individuals with our own choices, problems, pressures, daily routines, we have our own unique set of principles which set us apart from the rest of the world. We should be able to showcase these without fear. Full stop.
My name is Sally Chiwuzie and I believe in the power of individualism. I am unshakable. ‘Unshakable’ is a state of mind. The motto is:
Be unshakable. Be in truth with yourself. Love yourself.